M's Musings on RUSH HOUR 3

Rush Hour 3.  Dir. Brett Ratner.  Screenplay by Jeff Nathanson.  Based on characters by Ross LaManna.  Ft. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  New Line, 2007.

Having just returned to my computer after four decontamination showers, I am ready to say something about Rush Hour 3.

Chris Tucker was paid $25 million to be in the film.  I hope he used the money to do something to work against racial stereotypes, just like the character he played.  So, hopefully his future is in drugs and skin.  He probably has a very nice fur coat, too.  And a rap cd, dropping next month.  I apologize for saying such things.  This is not the way people should be encouraged to speak or act, unlike this film suggests.

This movie was just awful.  I was so sad to see that after three films, there was no attempt to move beyond the typecasting of the first film.  I would have liked to see...  another film entirely.  There is no way to fix this film.

I hope that someday, new non-English speaking talent, as well as racially diverse talent of any kind, can experience a "break through" in the film industry without resorting to taking on roles like the ones written here.  This movie was written for people who feel patriotic because they like to exclude people.  They are the ones who encourage stereotypes, because they themselves are stereotypically dull and, unfortunately, racist.

I look forward to watching a slew of excellent movies to bury this day in review history.

Please, please don't make another one.

M's Musings on RUSH HOUR 2

Rush Hour 2.  Dir.  Brett Ratner.  Screenplay by Jeff Nathanson.  Based on characters by Ross LaManna.  Ft. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.  New Line, 2001.

Thank God there was a second one!  God forbid we let this film franchise fade into obscurity.  Nah... We'll do it one better:  we'll make Rush Hour 2 the top grossing live action "martial arts" film of all time.  And then, we'll celebrate it.  Take that, China!  Take that, kung fu!  Who needs you, anyway?

T and I only half watched this movie while writing our carefully thought-through reviews for the last movie.  From what I saw, I was impressed.  No, honestly, I am serious.  This movie was actually better than the last one.  They took a more no-holes-barred approach to the humour.  Instead of tip toeing around being offensive...  this film is like, shit man, I am going to lay out every white stereotype I can about black people AND Asian people in an hour and a half!

Asian people are cuddly, but asexual, "like Snoopy".  Black people like titties.  Asian men have small penises.  Black men need small bills because they are broke ass.  Etc, etc, ad infinitum.

The best part of this movie was all the dialogue in Chinese.  Particularly for T. and I, who watched it without subtitles.  At one point we just looked at each other and said, "It's not like it matters anyway".  We need to do a cleanse and watch a good martial arts movie.  Maybe it's time we review Hero.  It is both beautiful, and stars Zhang Ziyi, who is also beautiful.  In Rush Hour 2 she plays the evil villian who never, not once, speaks English (it makes her easier to villify that way).

Before I go wash my eyes out with soap, I'd like to mention one more thing:  This movie did not have even a fleeting reference to a Rush Hour.

That is all.